These next few weeks you will probably notice a increase in the amount of times I post here because this is the only place I really have to vent how I feel. It's sad to say but i feel like I'm drifting apart from people around me and I don't feel comfortable talking to them anymore. i will be honest I miss my best friend to death and I don't know what I did but she hasn't been talking to me and its effecting me in ways i would've never thought. My overall mood has been different and while my journey isn't suffering my emotional health is and that is just as important. Along with posting more I'm going to continue trying to find some of my old posts from the beginning of my journey, just so that anyone new who may come across this can see how everything is starting out, especially with dealing with the diet change. Tomorrow i will be posting about the importance of a stable support system and I hope you all are progressing in your own personal journeys. Till next time, PEACE AND LOVE!!!!!!
PS. If you see this please text me so i can know whats wrong, i miss you
Friday, October 16, 2015
Vices
Today I wanna talk about that everyone struggles with but for people with weight problems, especially those whose main problem is with food, have a hard time getting over and that's vices. Everyone knows what there vices are, those few unhealthy foods that you try to give up but end up eating them and at the end of it all you ask yourself, "How did I get here???? We all have them, for me my vices are pizza and ice cream, especially chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and its part of the reason sometimes my progress becomes stagnant. I'm not proud of it but if I see sometimes ice cream is on sale, I will but it and it's not like I'm eating a scoop, I will put on Netflix and by the time a movie is over or a few episodes of Blue Bloods (God I love that show) a pinto or two would be gone or sometimes even the entire tub of Turkey Hill. You are probably thinking to yourself, "My God how could he eat all of that, and to be honest I ask myself that question. I used to be one of those people that would deny he had vices, but I realized i had a problem when I woke up one day and cleaned my room. I found a array of ice cream containers and pizza boxes and I knew I had a problem. Sometimes you need those wake up calls in order to see the issue. A lot of this problem is mental, especially after you lost some weight. We think to ourselves, "Oh I lost a little bit of weight, a little bit of (insert vice here won't hurt), not realizing that a little turns into a lot and then your at the point I was at, wondering how you got here. In no way am I saying completely eradicate said food item from your life, but the name of the game is moderation and self control. if you know when it comes to certain foods you have little to know control, slowly cut down the amount of it you are eating. It is unrealistic from you to from eating pizza once a day to eating pizza once a week. Some people may be able to do that, but for others you need to slowly cut down. By slowly cutting down, your still getting your fix, but you are also teaching yourself that you don't need this food as much as you thought, by the end of the year you may even realize that you don't need the food anymore. The most unhealthy thing you can do is trying to immediately cut things off from your life because you will find yourself constantly thinking of the food and sooner or later you will go back to eating it at the pace you ate it before. Discipline is big when it comes to things like these and a lot of us struggle with that. My best advice when it comes to discipline is you have mentally get into a space of knowing what you want for yourself. Like I had, you need one of those experiences that show you what you are doing wrong. A large portion of all of this is mental stability, that's why before I could get the band I had to see a psychiatrist because this journey is as much physical as mental and you may find yourself breaking down. I'm not to scared to admit that I have cried in the midst of this journey. The mental struggle is extremely real and plays a big part with overcoming your vices. Next I think I will write a segment about the mental game because of how pivotal it is to this journey, especially my personal journey and I think its important for anyone who comes across this. A few last words, don't be ashamed of your vices at all, most of who struggle with weight have them and it isn't something embarrassing. Food is a legitimate addiction and promotes the same feelings that other addictions do. We all just need to come to the point that we realize we have a problem and decide for ourselves that we want to change that problem and that's very big. You can't make this change for anyone but yourself because if you do, subconsciously you will end up back where you started and that's for anything in life. Take it all one step at a time, no need to make drastic changes right away, because that is never successful, look at biggest loser contestants, they lose all this weight and drastically change their diets and a couple years they have gained most if not all back. Cut the foods down slowly and steadily it is the most effective way to controlling this problem. Until next time, Peace and Love!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Back To My Journey
Everything has been going pretty great recently, I have been personally weighing myself and I'm liking the numbers I see. it has been two months since the last time I got my band tightened, which i'm upset about but, I can't control that. In order to get a lap band there are many things you need to beforehand and one is have a doctors referral. For some reason the referral my doctor sent initially ran out or something, so i haven't been able to see my surgeon because it will cost some ridiculous amount. Like I said, nothing I can really do about it, but I'm determined to have lost at least ten pounds by my next appointment which is Oct 26th. And i definitely wanna get at least one tightening before the holiday season begins. I definitely need to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my diet and a little more exercise could also be useful, but all in all I like where I am mentally and the direction in which i'm heading physically. I have continued the search for some of my old post and I actually found one detailing my first tightening which I will be uploading soon. Remember in order to do and achieve great things, you have to be willing to put in the necessary work. Peace and Love!!!!!!!
Monday, October 5, 2015
Off Topic again: Something I need to get off my chest
By now I should probably change what this blog is about because not only have I not been giving day to day updates about how my lap band journey is going, my last few posts have been off topic, but this is something that has been bothering me recently and I wanna use this blog to just vent my feelings on this. As all of you know the whole Black Lives Matter, Police brutality and just racism in general has been a huge topic and I just wanna give my thoughts on all of it.
Whenever I am online I try to stay away from places like YouTube and Facebook because the things I see regarding race usually piss me off, but tonight I was scrolling through both and came across this lady, she was African american and she had a lot of negative things to say about the Black lives Matters movement and black on black crime. First let me get one thing clear: I Fucking hate the term Black on Black crime, crime is crime period. In her rant, she basically criticize black lives matter saying that they neglect victims of black on black crime, She brought up a murder of a little African american girl who was murdered by a fellow African american and asked if her life mattered as well? Now some of you may say to yourself that is a good question, but no its not and im going tell you why. In my opinion the only reason the Black Lives matter movement has the media attention it does is because it is a way to further separate the races. When someone white sees Black lives matter, they are going to feel left out and perceive the movement as black people crying and making themselves victims. So immediately they dismiss the movement and the media knows that. I mean put yourself in a white suburban Americans shoes, one second they will see the Black Lives matters movement and in the next they see 20 people killed over the weekend in Chicago, I can see why they will begin to formulate that black people are violent in nature and that the Police may have not been in the wrong. Getting back to why the question is the wrong thing to ask, there are plenty of programs in inner cities that are out on the front lines trying to decrease the violence in black communities but they don't get any media attention. So yes that girls life did matter, there are people out there trying to stop what caused her death, but people like the woman from the video fail to mention that or are possibly ignorant to. Is there a problem with crime in our community yes, but we obviously have realized that. maybe if these programs got more funding or even just more widespread recognition, funding can be provided so they can do more in the community. Everyone likes to leave certain things out to benefit their agenda and i'm sick of that. I'm here right now admitting that there has been a celebration of gang culture and other negative cultures in the black community, but we have realized that. People like the lady in the video and many media outlets paint us as violent criminals who all push this violent culture and it is so far from the truth. I can note that poverty breeds violence and how the economic inequalities in these areas leads to violent culture but I would be seen as making excuses, So instead I salute programs like GMACC, Cure Violence, Don't Shoot NYC all trying to make a change in our community. I salute the programs all across the country trying to make a change, I see what they neglect to report. I'm going to end my rant right there because I can go on for days. I wanna end with this, before you formulate a opinion on something look at everything that is going on and happening, you don't have to take a side, you can stand in the middle and tell both sides why they are wrong and that's what i'm doing. Anyone that blames white people as the sole reason of African Americans problems are wrong and anyone that blames black people as the sole reason for black peoples problems are wrong as well. Their are many things contributing and we all have a part in this. We all need to come together, see the negative and positives about all our communities and work together to change them, and major breakthrough in change has happened when people united together don't forget that.
Whenever I am online I try to stay away from places like YouTube and Facebook because the things I see regarding race usually piss me off, but tonight I was scrolling through both and came across this lady, she was African american and she had a lot of negative things to say about the Black lives Matters movement and black on black crime. First let me get one thing clear: I Fucking hate the term Black on Black crime, crime is crime period. In her rant, she basically criticize black lives matter saying that they neglect victims of black on black crime, She brought up a murder of a little African american girl who was murdered by a fellow African american and asked if her life mattered as well? Now some of you may say to yourself that is a good question, but no its not and im going tell you why. In my opinion the only reason the Black Lives matter movement has the media attention it does is because it is a way to further separate the races. When someone white sees Black lives matter, they are going to feel left out and perceive the movement as black people crying and making themselves victims. So immediately they dismiss the movement and the media knows that. I mean put yourself in a white suburban Americans shoes, one second they will see the Black Lives matters movement and in the next they see 20 people killed over the weekend in Chicago, I can see why they will begin to formulate that black people are violent in nature and that the Police may have not been in the wrong. Getting back to why the question is the wrong thing to ask, there are plenty of programs in inner cities that are out on the front lines trying to decrease the violence in black communities but they don't get any media attention. So yes that girls life did matter, there are people out there trying to stop what caused her death, but people like the woman from the video fail to mention that or are possibly ignorant to. Is there a problem with crime in our community yes, but we obviously have realized that. maybe if these programs got more funding or even just more widespread recognition, funding can be provided so they can do more in the community. Everyone likes to leave certain things out to benefit their agenda and i'm sick of that. I'm here right now admitting that there has been a celebration of gang culture and other negative cultures in the black community, but we have realized that. People like the lady in the video and many media outlets paint us as violent criminals who all push this violent culture and it is so far from the truth. I can note that poverty breeds violence and how the economic inequalities in these areas leads to violent culture but I would be seen as making excuses, So instead I salute programs like GMACC, Cure Violence, Don't Shoot NYC all trying to make a change in our community. I salute the programs all across the country trying to make a change, I see what they neglect to report. I'm going to end my rant right there because I can go on for days. I wanna end with this, before you formulate a opinion on something look at everything that is going on and happening, you don't have to take a side, you can stand in the middle and tell both sides why they are wrong and that's what i'm doing. Anyone that blames white people as the sole reason of African Americans problems are wrong and anyone that blames black people as the sole reason for black peoples problems are wrong as well. Their are many things contributing and we all have a part in this. We all need to come together, see the negative and positives about all our communities and work together to change them, and major breakthrough in change has happened when people united together don't forget that.
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